i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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