TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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