Do vagina's smell?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
