He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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