don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
