guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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