It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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