Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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