you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize