You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
