I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
