I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
