I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
