You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
