New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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