life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
