I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it hurts more in the daytime
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize