There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
