I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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