areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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