I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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