what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
