I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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