Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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