i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
