I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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