If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
