I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
