hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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