we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
