Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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