i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
