he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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