Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
