I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
