Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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