Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
