I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
