just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
