Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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