There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My liver just had a heart attack.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
