I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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