Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
