She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
