I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
