i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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