I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
