like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize