So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
