Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
