Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
