Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize