Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
