For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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