I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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