I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
