Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
