she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize