Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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