Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
