Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
