just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
